No Frills Body Positivity
I know, it’s been quite a long time! I really have missed y’all, but mama needed to take a pause, so I did.
I hope all is well in your corner of the world. As I was scrolling through instagram the other day, I realized that I was coming across a few accounts constantly throwing out buzzwords like “bopo” and “body positivity”. Then it dawned on me, that I’ve never really opened up about my view on said words. Honestly, it’s because I don’t really think about it too much. It absolutely tickles my soul that fat bodies are gaining more and more exposure and representation in media, perhaps more now than ever before. Because we’re valid, and we dress well, and we have money to spend, and we love, and we work, and we consume, and because we fucking exist.
Believe it, or not, I often have people make comments to me like “wow, I could never wear something like that”, “I love how confident you are”, “you can tell you love your body”; and it leaves me puzzled. For one, how is my relationship with my body so noticeable, and so fascinating to other people; and two, do people not also gush over themselves this way?
I wear what I want, I do what I want, and I live how I want. These days, I would never dream of letting something as asinine as my weight stop me from anything. However, I would absolutely be lying if I said that I came out of the womb with this level of self love and confidence. I grew up in the comfort and warm embrace of my mom’s kitchen, genetically predisposed to being fat, and it didn’t help that I was always hearing things like “you’re so pretty for a big girl”. I remember wishing I could just get Lipo and call it a day, because yes, I was fat; but at least I was cute, haha. I’ve had eating disorders, I’ve been suicidal, I’ve had anxiety attacks. I know what that pit of despair looks like, I used to live in it.
I wish I could tell you that one day I just woke up and loved that girl. Like building any other relationship in life, it takes time, and I was committed. I don’t have some magic word, or diet, product to buy for you learn to love yourself; but why wouldn’t you give it a try? Who can love you better than you? The relationship you cultivate with yourself is one of the most important ones you will ever have, and your self talk is the most important voice you will ever hear. I’ve come a long way in how I see myself and simply put, I realized that if I’m not convinced that I’m that bitch, who will be?